Closing time

Recently, I’ve decided to close the door. To take care of myself and leave behind all the unkindness you’ve shown me.

I wasn’t strong enough to fight, to tell you how some of your words hurt me making me feel unwelcomed. I guess that I’ve always known how you really see me, but I prefer to keep the relationship instead to cutting it off. Maybe, as an immigrant building safe places was one of my goals.

But now I’m ready to release all that stressful moments when you openly express your racism and your sexism against me and other women. I’m done with you, interrupting every conversation that I used to have with someone else. I really can’t stand anymore that you are incapable to respect others. It is not my job to explain you the basis, neither to schedule some learning about: colonisation process all around de world, classism, violence against women and discrimination.

Probably some people find you funny or even reckless. Nevertheless, I just think that you aren’t able to put yourself in others place. You’re incapable of compassion or even to take any responsibility for the ideas you shout every time.

I thought vaguely that the reader you are could open your mind and eventually, start to respect differences between people. I assumed that knowledge will be the way to reset the old fashion ideas that pollute this society. Being next to you confirm me that the space we shared is severely unequal.

Now, I’m aware after all of this years, you don’t still know my last name and you don’t care. Every word you pronounced about the way I look, about my heritage, my background, wealth, health condition, are topics that even my closest friends never set as criticism, or as conversation subject. What makes you think that you were legitimate to talk about it? When did you thought that it could be a matter of discussion?  It wasn’t reciprocate, which means that you were in a powerful position.

Behind all that hate disguised in “hilarity” I just got prove that you’re incapable to understand, appreciate and think about others feelings, probably because you never were my friend. However, it doesn’t authorized you to mistreat me, instead of been honest and stop pretending.

Because of people like you, I’m afraid that I can’t trust to French people even if they seem to like you, to help you, to understand you. Hypocrisy its maybe well learned and applied firmly, probably to comfort yourself about the person you are. My only regret is that you will be always there, near, since we still have some people in common, because of the circumstances.